Middle Aged Wisdom

I don’t really have a column type blog today, just some simple observations that have revealed themselves as I continue my journey into “Middle-Aged Wisdom”. I hope you, the reader, find some value from the following. I’ve learned these lessons through my journey so far, and hope that I’ll be around long enough to post my “Old Age Wisdom.”

1. True friendship is a rare and fleeting thing. You’ll never know who your friends are until you’re in a bind. A friend will give you the helping hand required to get back on your feet. True friendships have been tested and tempered by the passage of time and crisis. Each milestone strengthens the bond between two people.

2. There are no “Mulligans” in life. For those of you who don’t follow golf; a Mulligan is a do over; Bill Clinton was famous for these on the golf course. Here’s the bottom line. Live your life the way you want to. Do and experience as much as you can in your life. There is only one go around, so make your choices carefully and live them heartily. Don’t waste too much time mulling over mistakes. Learn from them but don’t fret over them. The road to wisdom is paved with misjudgment.

3. Enjoy the knowledge and love of your parents; nobody, not even your spouse, will love you as much as your Mom and Dad. Once they’re gone, you are truly on your own.

4. Listen to that little voice inside your head when it talks to you. It’s called a conscience; if it feels wrong don’t be swayed. If it feels right, follow through. Sometimes over thinking and overanalyzing can paralyze one to inaction. Inaction creates missed opportunities and missed opportunities create regret.

5. Always tell the truth, that way you never have to remember what you said in a prior conversation.

6. Experience love, at least once. Only through Love can one experience the euphoric highs and lows of the human condition. Love needs to be experienced at least once to understand the driving force behind the sexes.

7. Laugh. This is the healthiest thing one can do for both mind and body. Laughing releases beneficial endorphins into the human blood stream and is a great cardiovascular workout.

8. Know the difference between SEX and LOVE. There is a difference; one act is a carnal pleasure the other is an intimate entangling of two souls.

9. Pick and choose your battles wisely. Not every conflict requires verbal or physical combat. Defend your principals and your honor, everything else isn’t worth the aggravation.

10. Don’t fear what you don’t understand. If you fear the unknown you will remain forever ignorant. Welcome the unknown mysteries of life and relish the journey of discovery found therein.

11. Ask questions from those you deem wiser than yourself. The journey to wisdom often starts with “May I ask you a question?” The elder generation, though mocked in our society and culture, are revered in every other society. They have already traveled most of life’s journey and can impart their experiences to those of us who haven’t traveled as far or as long.

I hope somebody gains something from the above tidbits. Most may be common sense or simple practical knowledge. I, however, have discovered that even the most fundamental wisdom is often overlooked.

Be well on your journey.

Deer Season is upon us

I helped a friend set up a ground blind and tree stand for the deer hunting season this year. The typical season for me is as follows. September; I'm all excited as I drop my fifty bucks on my permit and stamps. October; something happens that takes up all of my time and attention (usually work) and I miss the early pre-rut and tell myself I'll be there for some November rut action. November; The yard is a disaster and every weekend is spent raking tons of leaves from our Oak ad Maple trees plus cleaning out the garage for the winter. December; shotgun season is upon me and I'm hoping to get out at least twice. The snow falls in torrents and I never seem to find the time between snow blowing, both kids being home and just plain old crappy weather.
January; I start promising myself I'll make the time the following season and really get out there.

This has been my hunting season for the last three years and this year is shaping up to be pretty much the same way... <>.

Stress

Stress, in one simple word, sucks! As I round the corner toward 50 I've begun having thoughts of retirement, 401k's, Social Security and all that other stuff I never gave a second though tto when I was in my twenties or thirties. Now as I approach my fifties it's all I can think about and stress about. I had a shock to my system and a depressing epiphany; I'm middle-aged bordring on old. My coworkers are all younger than me due to the nature of my job as a consultant. Our neighbors are all at least a decade younger than my wife and I which is somewhat depressing.

SO here I am startin down the face of my mortality not really ever expecting thi smoment to occur. But like a silent assassin, time found a way to sneak up, even on me, and bite me in the compacent behind. So, I anxiously awiat to hear about a Government Service job taht wil guarantee me employment, a retirement plan, and health insurnace once I retire... which, in twenty or so years I will be able to do. The downside... a paycut and some ectra aggrivation and responsibilities. Can I absorb the lost income? probably, will money be tight in teh short run> Definitely, but the benefits far outweigh the costs at this point.

I'm tired of waking up at 3:34 EVERY morning wondering if I'll have a job at the end of the next contracting cycle or I'll be forced to become a government employee on less than favorable terms. I anxiously endure the final negotiations process and hope I can raise my base pay a few extra thousand to help me through. There are worse problems to have in this shrinking economy such as NOT having an opportunity or NOT having a job at all. Still I stress and fret wanting the best deal for me so I can continue to support my family and keep the bill collectors from my door.

I should get the final offer from THE government either late tomorrow or early Friday. Thank God for opportunities whether they aren't exactly what I want. Hopefully I'll sleep well this weekend knowing I'll be GS 13 Chief of financial Operations. Time will tell.

Letting go of the past

God has a funny way of teaching me things. I’m a hard nut to crack sometimes but HE does manage to get through when I need it most. I’ve been obsessing about the past recently, who I WAS, what I WAS doing, who I WAS with. Time has a funny way of recoloring ones memory of things; we remember only the good and none of the bad. Looking back, sometimes is a good thing, carrying old baggage from the past isn’t. The past is just that; the past. We can’t change it and we can’t relive it now. It’s over, past tense and history. I’ve been obsessing over the past lately and it’s been getting me down. I can’t correct the mistakes I made or apologize to everyone I may have treated poorly several years ago or decades ago. I can’t wonder about “What might have been and if it would be better than my present life.”

I need to look at my life now and the relationships that I have now and accept them. I’ve been guilty of wanting to relive the past thinking that it would be better than my present. The truth is, I was a different person in the past and I didn’t like who or what I was pretending to be. I like the man I am now and I’m more comfortable in my own skin than I was twenty-five years ago. I have a great family and a wife that loves me (Why she loves me God only knows). Is my “Present” perfect? Hell no, I have problems and issues just like everybody else, but I’m also a hell of a lot better off than a lot of people and I should focus more on what I have and where I am rather than what I could have had or could have been. Looking back, for me, at this point in my life is unproductive. I wish those people in my past well and apologize publicly to those I’ve hurt and freely forgive those that have hurt me.

I need to focus on today, what’s now and what will be rather than wonder “What if.” God has blessed me with a decent job and a potential career path, good health, and some modicum of talent in writing. I love to write novels and columns, I love to communicate through the written word; these are the things I should be pursuing as well as my current relationships; the past is the past and best left there.
-End of speech and on with my life.

Consider this.....

We have brave men and women dying overseas while our "Glorious" Messiah is off pandering to the IOC trying to get the Olympic games to Chicago. Obama hasn't commincated to his Generals in the Afghanistan field of operations since July... nearly ten weeks. 73 percent of Americans DON'T want Obama care and the Democrats in the Senate killed the public option in commitee just yesterday.

What does it say about our President? It says he doesn't care about what the people want only what he wants. Obama is too impressed with himself. Giving fancy speeches trashing our counrty isn't winning him any allies; dismanteling our missile shield won't woo the Russians into aiding us in Iran; Iran is a willing Market for Russian weapons and commodities. While Obama is busy verbally pleasuring himself, our enemies are testing him. Iran is test firing medium and long range missiles with no real punitive actions, they've been processing weapons grade Uranium to affix on these missiles for an assault. Obama doesn't want to act too hastily and our house continues to burn around him and more importantly around us. Obama wants to work through the United Nations... WTF!!! After 19 UN resolutions condeming Iraq nothing happened and we had to act alone. The UN delay gave Iraq the valuable time to hide and relocate thier weapons and assets.

Now is the time to action, now is the time for us to speak out. Our country is in jeopardy and the left wing sits back applauding and the media ignores the obvious truth. God help us because Obama is weak and inexperienced... he's the African American Jimmy Carter and we, as a nation, are paying the price for his inexperience and stupidity.

Sometimes life has a few bumps

I was talking with my son this afternoon after an exceptionally difficult day at work. He too had an uncomfortable day and was facing a bleak semester at college. His problems at school combined with my daughter's problems adjusting to dorm life and other high visibility issues led him to remark that we were cursed.

Cursed. I'd often suggested that out of frustration over a situation I had no control over but I had never heard the phrase coming from my son with such veracity and conviction. I took a few moments to recall the blessings we had and all that we stood to lose. If we were cursed I'd have no job, no car, no prospects for the future. My son and I reflected more upon the obstacles we each were facing over the next few months and the challenges my daughter was struggling with and let it all hang out over that small coffee table.

I imparted a simple observation after digesting all of our maudlin commentary; the roads of our lives had come upon several bumps and pot holes. We were navigating a tough stretch of life right now and needed to be steady and take things one day at a time until we could find a smooth stretch of road. Smoother road was ahead, I just didn't know where it was or how long the bumps would last.

The bumps we're experiencing now will no doubt make us appreciate the inevitable smooth stretch of pavement we'd both eventually encounter.

The Devil you know

I accepted a new position last week for new opportunity and, of course, more cash. I was tired of my old job and the constant stress and aggrivation found therein. My forst day on my new job was a veritiable shit storm and hasn't let up and appears that teh aggrivation won't let up. More stress and more aggrivation from more places; only now I need weeks to learn how to navigate a new job, new people and new processes.

Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt but the devil you know is always better than the devil you don't. A point to ponder on a rainy Friday afternoon.