Stress

Stress, in one simple word, sucks! As I round the corner toward 50 I've begun having thoughts of retirement, 401k's, Social Security and all that other stuff I never gave a second though tto when I was in my twenties or thirties. Now as I approach my fifties it's all I can think about and stress about. I had a shock to my system and a depressing epiphany; I'm middle-aged bordring on old. My coworkers are all younger than me due to the nature of my job as a consultant. Our neighbors are all at least a decade younger than my wife and I which is somewhat depressing.

SO here I am startin down the face of my mortality not really ever expecting thi smoment to occur. But like a silent assassin, time found a way to sneak up, even on me, and bite me in the compacent behind. So, I anxiously awiat to hear about a Government Service job taht wil guarantee me employment, a retirement plan, and health insurnace once I retire... which, in twenty or so years I will be able to do. The downside... a paycut and some ectra aggrivation and responsibilities. Can I absorb the lost income? probably, will money be tight in teh short run> Definitely, but the benefits far outweigh the costs at this point.

I'm tired of waking up at 3:34 EVERY morning wondering if I'll have a job at the end of the next contracting cycle or I'll be forced to become a government employee on less than favorable terms. I anxiously endure the final negotiations process and hope I can raise my base pay a few extra thousand to help me through. There are worse problems to have in this shrinking economy such as NOT having an opportunity or NOT having a job at all. Still I stress and fret wanting the best deal for me so I can continue to support my family and keep the bill collectors from my door.

I should get the final offer from THE government either late tomorrow or early Friday. Thank God for opportunities whether they aren't exactly what I want. Hopefully I'll sleep well this weekend knowing I'll be GS 13 Chief of financial Operations. Time will tell.